So, remember me saying chemo 4 would be tough. It’s just what google says. It’s not told to you by doctors. But, I know the more chemo in your body the harder it is to bounce back. That was no lie told.
Monday, I was putting clothes in washer and I was exhausted. I started breathing really hard like I was almost hyperventilating. I kept doing deep breathes to calm myself down and to catch my breath. I went check the mail and that did me in. I messaged my oncologist. And asked if this was normal. My gosh, I do have poison in my body. Maybe it’s just the chemo. She sent back a reply and said this is not normal. Get to nearest emergency room. It was closer to 2:30pm. Nick was nslerping because he’s working nights. I told him what dr said. He quickly jumped out of bed and said let’s go. I fought him on it until 5pm. I figured maybe I didn’t eat good today. Maybe I’m just dehyydrated. And I’ll just drink water. So, he obeyed—he cooked and then I bathed for a while. When I got out the tub I was done. Went straight to my bed. He said nope let’s go. You don’t even have energy to walk further than the bathroom to bed. And if you’ve been to my home you know that’s not far.
Now we are at TRMC—-they did my vitals and immediately put a mask on me. Germs, sickness—can kill me. I have NO immune system. I had fever and elevated heart rate. After several needle stabbings the results starting coming in. I also had to do a CT scan because my symptoms were same as possible blood clot. Well, Bacterial infection came back. Fluid in lungs. And they have no idea why my heart rate is 147. They started me on antibiotics through iv and liquids. As liquids was coming through I felt better. But my heart rate wasn’t budging. EKG was done also, it looked a little enlarged but nothing abnormal. Dr. said if he admitted me they would transfer me to oschnet. And admitting is not preferred bc of all the germs and sickness in hospital. They monitored me for 3-4 hours. My heart rate came down after antibiotics and liquids was done. I left with my heart rate being 105. Dr felt like if I needed to come back I would. We left.
The thing is. No one tells you how bad this is. They don’t tell you how you will feel. Because every case is different. I just knew 4 would be hard. 3 had me down longer than 2. I didn’t know what I was experiencing was signs of a blood clot. Or heart issues. Chemo is killing the cancer right? You don’t want the chemo to kill you in the process. And just thinking of not going to ER makes me scared now. This is deadly. And it’s scary. I try not to be in public to avoid germs. And even at work I try not to get to close to my co-workers just in case. But wearing a mask is on my agenda. I just can’t breathe right now through my nose bc I am congested and my nose is full of blood. I just want to tell you guys when you’re sick stay away from chemo patients. You could kill them. I have nothing in me to fight off infection.
I’m home and I’m ok. Much better than I was last 2 days. Nick will stay home tonight from work just to be sure I’m fine. I’m trying to fight this awful cancer. I really am. I’m trying to stay in good positive places up my head. But it gets tiring with every day shit coming your way. I don’t know if you love experienced cancer like my kind in your life. But please have some sympathy for us. Our finances change. Our normalcy is Dr. visits. Medication. Chemo. Managing pills. Insurance claims. I have to make sure I eat enough when nick can’t do that and it’s hard for me. Bc cognitive issues are present with me.
Thank you all for checking up on me. Xoxo
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